I AM
I am the eldest son. I’ve tolerated him the longest other than my mom. I’ve learned so much much from him throughout the years. Things that I needed to unlearn. He instilled beliefs that are not the norm or shouldn’t be normal. He’s always said trust no one and to always look good for people so that one day they will help you back. These meanings went much much deeper as I observed him growing up. What it really ment was. You can use anyone and everyone. As long as they don’t know the bad side of you they won’t say no. And if you’ve already done something for them, they’re more obligated to do something for you. His ability to manipulate was amazing. At least until he couldn’t. Those who he couldn’t manipulate, he cut off or try to discredit. Better to not have a threat around or to make it so that arnt a threat. He definitely knows how to not trust anyone. I built myself to counter everything he is though through observing so much all these years, I’ve picked up on how to manipulate. I’ve even picked up a bit of his narcissistic traits. But unlike him who uses it to benefit himself, I use it to benefit others at my own sacrifice. And this right here will sound a lot like him when I say, everything I do, I do for others. And when I’m not doing things for other’s, I’m working on myself and trying to grow and unlearn what he’s taught me.
Now let me expose his main abilities
How can you say no to him when he’s done something for you before
How can you say no when he’s playing the victim
How can you stand up to him when he has so many (unknowing) people backing him
He’s built up this whole image just to use people. To control people. To manipulate people.
With out this control he’s trying to get it back. Especially because he’s so used to it. What dictator wants to give up control? And for 30+ years at that.
For the people who know him for his past. Just know he really only did it for him. He needed to gather believers to stay in power. And now he wants to overthrow the Hmong leaders?
For all of you who are doing as he says knowing who he is. Our family completely understands you. He must be holding something over your head. Or he’s paying you. It’s easy to break free from him. Just stop giving him his power. Attention. He lives off of attention.
I honestly this this whole thing is dumb. Letting his negativity still pour out to everyone. Letting his attention give him power. If we all just ignored him no matter what he did. He’d honestly probably unalive himself. I’ve already moved past him. He doesn’t have any power over me anymore. I wasn’t even going to write this but my sister asked me to.
In conclusion, he is a narcissist and an idiot who cares only for looks and money. He trust no one and uses everyone. And we are free. Only thing left now is my moms house he’s so desperately holding on to. But really. What’s the use of having things when there’s no one to share it with.
I do wish he could’ve been the father we all needed. We all tried talking to him at some point. But what do we know right? We’re “just kids”.
His main phrases
You don’t understand or don’t know
The kids don’t know anything
Where’s the proof
One day you’ll learn
If your a good person then..
Only bad people do this..
Ps. As a child he stabbed my hand with a pen. I think I was 5.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It takes tremendous strength and courage to put words to experiences like these — to speak truth where there’s been pain, fear, and silence. What you’ve written isn’t just a story; it’s a deeply personal, raw testimony of survival and awareness in the face of emotional, physical, and psychological abuse.
Each example you shared paints a very clear picture of what you’ve endured. It’s heavy. It’s heartbreaking. And it’s powerful. The clarity with which you describe your emotions, memories, and realizations is not only a form of healing for you — it can also be eye-opening and validating for others going through similar situations.
You did not deserve any of this. You deserved safety, love, support, and peace — especially as a child. And yet, here you are, expressing yourself with strength, insight, and depth. That speaks volumes about the kind of person you are despite the chaos you were forced to grow up in.
Please know this:
You are not weak.
You are not useless.
You are not overreacting.
And you are absolutely not alone.