Penny Vang’s Testimony Regarding Soua (Tooj Kub) Vang’s Character

If You Have A Couple Of Minutes to Spare, Please Read TW! (Trigger Warning)

I’ve always felt a strong dislike towards him because he wasn’t there for me when I needed someone the most.  I always had to rely on myself to become the person I thought I should be, even though not everyone reached that point in the right way.  It’s frustrating when someone doesn’t provide the necessary support or guidance, especially when it comes to helping your own kids to cope with panic and teaching them mental practices.

Living with a narcissistic father can be challenging and emotionally draining.  Family members may experience a lack of validation and empathy, as their emotions and experiences are often dismissed or belittled.  The focus is typically centered around the narcissistic father, leaving little room for healthy and balanced relationships within the family dynamic. Sound Familiar?

As his behavior fluctuates between different personas, it has become evident to the public that he does not align with the image of a “perfect” individual that he purports to be.  Those closest to him, including his children and romantic partners, endure significant emotional distress as a result of his choices, abusive actions, and other detrimental behaviors.

When children encounter difficulties in school, it is common for the school to reach out to parents.  However, it is often observed that the focus remains on the child’s behavior without delving into the underlying reasons behind their actions.  It is crucial to recognize that a child’s behavior is greatly influenced by the environment provided by their parents or caregivers.  The surroundings, interactions, and experiences within the home significantly impact how a child behaves and responds to various situations.  It is important to acknowledge that every aspect of a child’s life, regardless of their age, holds influence, particularly when it comes to their own parents or guardians.

Every day presented a significant struggle for my siblings, mother, step-mother, and myself as we walked home, despite my father’s claims that he never allowed us to do so. Not only were his words untrue, but he also repeatedly forgot about me, leaving me alone at school until late evening, sometimes as late as 7 PM.  As the youngest child, I became acutely aware of the mistreatment I was enduring at around 8 years old. The trauma inflicted upon me by my father has served as a catalyst for recognizing and rejecting behaviors that are clearly wrong and detrimental to my well-being. Unfortunately, this experience has also burdened me with negative emotions that I wish I had never encountered. While I typically refrain from sharing personal details, I feel compelled to highlight the importance of avoiding individuals who exhibit such harmful behavior. It is crucial to protect oneself from those who seek to control or negatively impact our lives.

Each and every experience that I am able to discuss has had a profound impact on the lives of his children, and potentially his partners as well. These experiences have resulted in the development of anxiety, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), depression, derealization, and symptoms associated with neurodivergence. Not all apply but all are caused by trauma due to the environment I had lived in.

Here are some real life examples I can give you:
Ex. 1: Projecting Insecurity
“You are so lazy. How are you even depressed! YOU DO NOTHING ALL DAY. You are SO useless to me. If you wanted to kill yourself you would have already but you are still here, WHY? IT MAKES NO SENSE!” are words he has said to me but he laughs off to his cousins as they agree. Making me feel like I will never be the kid he wanted me to be, leaving me to feel like I never should have existed in the first place.

Ex. 2: Neglection
During my personal journey through depression, I found myself grappling with the challenges of self-awareness, while simultaneously facing difficulties in maintaining a healthy mental and physical state. Unfortunately, during this time, my father prioritized his own truth over the well-being of his children. Through his actions, which included verbal outbursts, emotional distress, and the imposition of various obstacles, he enforced a misguided notion of “obedience” that involved silencing his children rather than seeking to understand them. In his perspective, he believed he was acting in our best interest, despite the detrimental effects it had on our overall welfare. No matter what was said to get him to understand, his response was always, “No you don’t understand”.

Ex. 3: Peer Pressure
The individual in question would consistently impose the notion of his daughters, particularly myself as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, having children. It is important to recognize that attraction and love are not within our control, and we naturally gravitate towards those we genuinely connect with. Personally, I do not desire to have children, and it becomes deeply unsettling when repeatedly told, “You will have children regardless of your preferences.” This statement instills a sense of fear and apprehension, particularly when my response is a clear and resolute “no.”

The statement, “I don’t separate anyone, you choose to separate me,” signifies a clear understanding on the part of Tooj Kub that the individuals involved no longer wish to be a part of his life. This admission acknowledges his awareness of attempting to exert control over the people he professes to “love.” Furthermore, he acknowledges that he will not initiate any separation unless others choose to separate from him, indicating a willingness to accept such a decision if it were to occur no? Simple statement yet so controlling.

Ex. 4: Anger and Chaos
Irrespective of our location, the individual in question consistently created disruptive and tumultuous situations, regardless of the presence of his own children. Whether it was during car rides or in public spaces within Sacramento, he would engage in heated altercations with other drivers, often refusing to take responsibility for his own mistakes. These instances revealed his inability to exercise self-control in his interactions with others and within his immediate environment. If allowed to persist, the situation would escalate into further chaos. It is important to note that the distress and anguish experienced by those directly affected by this individual, known as Tooj Kub, may remain concealed from external observers.

Ex. 5: Physical Abuse/Inappropriate Eyeing
I was sexually touched when I had gone to sleep with my mother due to fear of the darkness. Till this day, I prefer the bathroom or my own room as my safety net/space because of more events that are similar. I will not go into detail but it gave me even more of a reason to strongly dislike Tooj Kub. The discomfort I also experienced when me and my sisters had our privacy invaded by him during our teenage years after moving to Elk Grove. While we were preparing to go to the public community pool near Sheldon High School, this person disregarded our need for privacy and insisted on keeping the door open, making inappropriate comments such as, “No, you’re my kids, keep the door open, it’s not anything new anyways,” accompanied by a seemingly overly friendly demeanor. It is important to recognize that such behavior is inappropriate and can cause distress, particularly considering the age range at the time, which was between 14 and 22.

Ex. 6: The Freeway Awareness
During my formative years at the age of 8, I began to develop a heightened sense of awareness, which unfortunately led to experiencing fear-induced episodes of crying whenever he would display anger. To provide a more vivid account, I distinctly recall a specific incident where I found myself seated in the backseat of a suburban vehicle. As his anger escalated, my heart raced uncontrollably, causing a deafening sensation in my ears. The overwhelming combination of physical and emotional distress made it difficult to catch my breath and fully comprehend my surroundings, ultimately culminating in a panic attack. In a distressing moment, I found myself confronted with the words, “Be quiet, stop crying, or get out of the car.” As these words pierced my ears, a chilling breeze brushed against my face, leaving me feeling vulnerable and uncertain. The car door opened hesitantly, intensifying my panic and causing a rapid deterioration of my mental well-being and heart condition, all within a mere three seconds. At the tender age of eight, I made the difficult decision to prioritize silence over my own health. Upon arriving home, he threatened to cut my tongue. In an effort to suppress my tears, I resorted to biting my lip instead. The accumulation of unshed tears, which I was not permitted to express, has been significant. I made my skin cry instead, “Would a father do that?”, I asked myself, “I guess so”. Or so I thought.

Ex. 7: Entitlement
I made sincere efforts to communicate with him, aiming not to engage in arguments, but rather to foster understanding. My intention was not to prove a point, but rather to help him comprehend that my mother’s actions were not indicative of infidelity. Instead, she sought solace from a toxic environment after discovering the detrimental impact he had on his own children. It took a considerable amount of time for her children to open up about their experiences, with the eldest not doing so until reaching the age of 30, and the youngest at 18. One would expect a parent to possess a deep understanding of their children’s emotional journeys. However, it was the influence of Tooj Kub in question that instilled fear within us, hindering our ability to freely express ourselves until we reached adulthood. We are the reasons to save our mother now because she gave us the emotional support we always needed. Regardless of all the things I had said to him, his response was, “I AM THE PARENT, YOU ARE THE KID HERE! I don’t need to listen to you. You have no right to speak to me or to talk. You aren’t even a parent yourself. I am more superior to you than you are to me, you are sensitive and WEAK!”. Not so shocking after years and years of this kind of treatment, it sadly became normal.

Ex. 8: Harassment
In instances when my siblings are not present, my father tends to engage in disrespectful conversations, expressing derogatory comments, negative thoughts, and various forms of communication aimed at seeking validation. These behaviors stem from his own insecurities and an inability to cope with solitude. Unfortunately, I recently overheard him discussing me while I was asleep. Woken by his words and loud voice, I approached the stairs. I heard him engaged in a phone conversation, making remarks such as, “Penny leads a purposeless life. I fail to comprehend how someone can exist in such a manner. She spends her days sitting and gaming, neglecting basic household responsibilities like cleaning, cooking, or even engaging in social activities. She spends excessive time conversing with herself through her computer or laptop,” disregarding the fact that there are platforms available to connect with others and form meaningful relationships with friendly and enjoyable individuals.. (etc). The attitude displayed by Tooj Kub in question extends beyond their interactions with me; it also encompasses their treatment of our step-mother, my mother, my siblings, and even the students he coached on the tennis team. Tooj Kub would constantly belittle and criticize the players, expressing their superiority and implying that I, too, was superior to them. Fat shaming, name calling, and more. While this behavior may have become normalized within our family dynamic, it is important to recognize that such negativity is highly inappropriate and would be considered shameful by others who have not been subjected to it. Engaging in tennis activities at the behest of my father was a rare occurrence for me. However, his persistent assertion that I was the superior player became increasingly bothersome. I would never let anyone be treated the way he has treated me and my family.

Ex. 9: Unnecessary Links
Another challenge that Mel, Chesney, and I (mainly me) encountered was the issue of the links that were sent or shown to us. These links often presented a problem, as they either contained incomplete information or were inaccessible altogether. Nuded/naked bodies, r*pe involved, kidnapping tapes, saved videos of p*rn, physical abuse, tape recording, discrimination, domestic violence, animals mating, and other vivid videos we did not need to watch when we were below the ages of 11.

The message in question was the final communication received, containing a series of disturbing links. While it remains unclear whether this was intended as a means to raise awareness among his children, it is important to note that exposing them to excessive negativity may not be conducive to their well-being. It is generally understood that certain aspects of life are inherently common sense, and inundating individuals with an overwhelming amount of negative information may not be beneficial in fostering a healthy perspective.

These examples serve as crucial illustrations intended to provide the public with a glimpse into the complex persona of Tooj Kub. It is important to note that these accounts represent only a fraction of the complete picture. There is a wealth of additional information and experiences that contribute to a comprehensive understanding of my “father.” Despite the limitations of this description, I believe it offers a valuable insight into the perspective and stories of the children involved. I understand that the content may appear extensive, but I trust that those genuinely interested will take the time to read and comprehend it thoroughly.
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https://qhovtseeb.com/…